M A C V A Y S I A

Sometime last week (I’m fasting and seriously can’t remember which day it was) we were on our weekly visit to our local Tesco and, since Al was with us, there was the usual “No, you already have lots of cars” conversation. Getting past the toy section is always a challenge for us, but I think Al may finally have it figured out. This time he actually behaved, even after seeing the cars. He pointed to them and said “Oooh! Car!” but unlike other visits to Tesco (and the most recent aborted attempt at getting his hair cut) there was a noticeable absence of screaming, kicking, and demonic head-rolling. In fact, he had been a good boy all evening. We were so impressed we decided to let him have a remote-control car.

This is about the time I should remind my readers that fasting has worrisome effects on my ability to think properly. I’d like to think that had I not been fasting I would have said something like, “It’s only fifteen ringgit, and this is Tesco, so this toy is obviously a piece of crap.” Tesco toys are almost as bad as the ones for sale at Toy City. They should come with stickers that say ‘Now with slightly less lead’ or ‘Guaranteed not to break until played with at least three times’. I might say that, but since Al was made in China I’ll give that country and its factories (and Tesco) the benefit of the doubt. Let’s just leave it at: I should have known better.

It was a police car. I took it out of the box as soon as we got home. It immediately became apparent why it was so cheap. The remote control had a trigger to make the car go forward, but the little dial used for turning was just for show and didn’t actually turn. Not only that, the car couldn’t turn anyway. Still, it was a remote-control car, and I had remembered to buy the four AA batteries the box said were required. However, the box didn’t say anything about the clunky, rectangular nine-volt battery needed for the remote control thingy. Ah, screw it, I thought. He can just push it around like his other cars. And so he did.

Later, after Al had gone to sleep, Leen and I were watching TV when suddenly I heard the distinctive sound of a remote-control car. But only for a second. I looked and there it was, sitting on the floor. We continued watching TV and then, a few minutes later, we heard it again. This time the car was just over a foot closer to us than before. Every few minutes it would move closer, closer. I reached down and turned it around, so it could inch along the other way, through the living room and dining room and down the hall towards the door. Then we went to bed.

When I got up the next morning, the car was back in the living room, facing in the opposite direction. (Insert Twilight Zone music here.)

Kind of reminds me of the TV that was in Mom’s room in one of the many places we lived in my hometown. It would turn on and off by itself, switch channels, etc.

And the car doesn’t just move by itself. Last weekend it started making strange little noises every few minutes, like some of the weird frogs you might hear in a rural area after heavy rain.

Anyway, the good news is that Al has insisted upon taking the car everywhere, which means it has already been dropped more than three times and (it’s from Tesco, remember) is already so badly damaged that it doesn’t work anymore. At least…I hope it doesn’t.