It might be a while (well, a week, maybe a few days) before I can update my blog. In the meantime, maybe you can click on over to Malaysiakini, where my second article has just appeared in Dina Zaman’s I Am Muslim column. This time I’m complaining about Muslim men in Malaysia who cheat on their wives. Nasty! The men I mean, not my article. I hope.
Anyway, go on over and take a look, and I’ll be back online soon enough.
1 Trackbacks
You can leave a trackback using this URL: http://macvaysia.com/2006/07/14/macvaysiakini-2/trackback/
Phentermine ionamin.
Phentermine. Phentermine overnight. Cheapest phentermine.
48 Comments
No comment :)
Is love finite? If love is shared between two parties will the first recipient get less of the love? Is love that cheap?
Isn’t it possible that a man can love more than one women at the same time?
I have two kids. Am I decreasing my love for the first child when we had the second one? Am I being cruel?
Why is a married man chasing after another woman with the intention of marriage even considered cheating?
It is after all, the lesser of two evil. The other one is divorce. (Author’s note. Polygamy is not an evil act. It’s just a figure of speech). A husband making his wife the first wife means he’s not divorcing her. There’s still love and caring there.
I know this sounds really harsh but face the facts. Most of us men have sex on our brains. Just ask any psychologist. Don’t force us to to something wrong and sinful.
Of course, loving equally is right damn near impossible.
Even God said so. He’s not that naive.
Quran 4:129 Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women, even if it is your ardent desire: But turn not away (from a woman) altogether, so as to leave her (as it were) hanging (in the air). If ye come to a friendly understanding, and practise se
lf- restraint, God is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.
When I have more kids, I might have even a favorite one. But the key is not to expect people to love equally, but try to treat equally. Emphasis on the word TRY.
I know of people are going to give me a lot of Zidane. (Nipple pinching followed by a fierce headbutt). So, let’s have it.
Funny yet true and stinging article there. Hits where it hurts the most.
Most men who cheat and I have met many, invoke their religious right to marry more than one at the earliest chance. Lifestyle-wise though none of them even try to live as a Muslim. Ceh. On why they cheat in the first place, I guess it’s human nature. Yang terlarang itu godaan (the forbidden is tempting) as we say in Malay.
Ah well.
Taking a second wife is NOT cheating!!!
It’s lawful and unsinful. So, it’s NOT cheating.
Not Kuku Mon :
^. ~ .^ —– Hi Everybody, Muslim men don’t cheat!
{ (00) } — I never cheated on my wife!!
` _–_ ~~ — Don’t believe everything you read!
————- That is big fat LIE!
Kuku Mon :
(\_/)—- Hey silly,
(O.o)—- You can only cheat on wife,
(> when reality is not so nice!
Not Kuku Mon :
^. ~ .^ —– Hi Everybody, Muslim men don’t cheat!
{ (00) } — I never cheated on my wife!!
` _–_ ~~ — Don’t believe everything you read!
————- That is big fat LIE!
Kuku Mon :
(\_/)—- Hey silly,
(O.o)—- You can only cheat on wife,
(> when reality is not so nice!
Not Kuku Mon :
^. ~ .^ —– Hi Everybody, Muslim men don’t cheat!
{ (00) } — I never cheated on my wife!!
` _–_ ~~ — Don’t believe everything you read!
————- That is big fat LIE!
Kuku Mon :
(\_/)—- Hey silly,
(O.o)—- You can only cheat on wife,
(>
bah….
something wrong with ur posting system???
please refer full post at http://kukumon.blogspot.com/2006/07/cheating.html
Poor Jordan, the veneer of respectability and fidelity in Malaysia is now gone.
Well here’s why:
1. Up bringing - have you notice how boys are brought up to be cocky (for want of a better word!) and self assured whereas the girls are brought up to be compliant and submissive.
2. Religion - or more accurately the misinterpretation of it. [BenMaarof's brain "Most of us men have sex on our brains" is certainly well placed in scrotum]
3. Inability to think outside the coconut shell. Somehow, those men in Malaysia seem to have forgotten about the women involve. Women have needs too and there is more to life than sexual gratification. Men who are financially secure, in good physical health and possess emotional and coventional intelligence are infinitely more desirable to propagate her genes than those who sprout out psycobable and half-baked religious edicts (See BenMaarof above)
Perhaps women in Malaysia ARE ensuring good genes for their off-spring. Perhaps their need to boast about it is superseded by their selfish genes. It takes two to tango afterall.
Ida
BenMaarof says:
>>Taking a second wife is NOT cheating!!!
It’s lawful and unsinful. So, it’s NOT cheating.
I already posted this but for some reason your comment system truncated the part after I quoted BenMaarof.
BenMaarof says:
“”Taking a second wife is NOT cheating!!!
It’s lawful and unsinful. So, it’s NOT cheating. “”
That is true but you are taking the whole thing out of context. In these times those who end up marrying more than one did so after courting/dating (pegang-pegang, raba-raba, some even have sex!) in the park, all the while with the wife and kids at home. Try and maintain a straight face and tell me that is *NOT* cheating and both lawful and unsinful. Face it, they marry later just to avoid the stares and bad talk of society. ‘Lawful’ lust gratification, I call it.
And the type of men that I’ve met who practice polygamy are not those who are well-off. One is an odd-job labourer, the other works as a garbage collector with Alam Flora, living in a setinggan, and yet another a darn chauffeur, with each getting a monthly salary of not more than RM1600. Now, as far as I know it is UNLAWFUL hence SINFUL to take a second wife when you cannot provide enough for the wellbeing and maintenance of the first family; forget the second.
Has anyone ever stopped to think about what will happen to the children and wife. never mind how they might feel?
Someone’s going to Mazerratti his way around this I’m sure.
Nice one there, Ida.
your piece is doing the rounds on the net :)
Anon,
I’ve known MANY monogamous families, and probably so do you, where the husband could not even afford to support ONE wife. According to your logic, which is NOT-GET-MARRIED-IF-YOU-CAN’T-AFFORD-IT, then those unions (monogamous marriages) should not even take place in the beginning.
You people are too much hung up on love. There’s absolutely nothing wrong in getting married for lust. And let’s face it, love and lust is blurry line anyway.
And to deny lust and make it sound as a bad thing is to deny one of God’s gift to us. Makes you sound like and ingrate.
Lustful is unsinful. It’s what you do with it what make it right or wrong.
And why can’t a man love more than one women at the same time? Does love have a set amount? Is it finite?
And in a marriage, the husband and the father does not have to be staying in the house 365 days a week.
Do husbands who are travelling salesmen, in the military, oil rig workers etc. who cannot be with the family most of the time are less than a provider or loving husband or a doting father?
Ida,
So what’s the right interpretation of religion? Is it yours? wHY?
Ben Maarof said
“I’ve known MANY monogamous families, and probably so do you, where the husband could not even afford to support ONE wife. According to your logic, which is NOT-GET-MARRIED-IF-YOU-CAN’T-AFFORD-IT, then those unions (monogamous marriages) should not even take place in the beginning.”
Correct. If you’ve looked it up enough, these people should have fasted if they cannot afford marriage.
“And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allah enriches them of His bounty.” 24.33.
Your call.
OH BTW, Benmaarof, I’m not exactly against polygamy. If you can afford it and have no troubles providing for both families, knock yourself silly. It’s when some can’t even provide for one that they want to take another that pisses me off. Do you realise that you have in essence said since these people cannot afford to feed one family but got married anyway, why just stop at one? Is that it? I hope not. And no one is asking anyone to deny lust. Just place common sense above it. It’s what separates us from the animal kingdom.
Hi Jordan,
I’ve been a frequent reader of your blog. I stumbled upon it by chance about a year and a half ago because I am a blog troll and i love reading about other’s ppl’s lives (oh and also i love how different people writes and all too) Nah, i’m not a scary troll at all.
Anyway, i’ve featured your article about “Why Muslim Men Cheat on their Wives” on my blog today. I think it’s excellent and it probably hit a homerun with the boys back home.
Do pay a visit to my blog sometimes. Thanks!
http://www.expedited.blogspot.com
And BENMAAROF, i’ll assume that you are Muslim but way you’re talking it’s like you’re writing your own religion. Justifying something you yourself probably do not understand.
I think you probably don’t even understand what love is either.
You say god gave you lust and hence to not be an ingrate to Him, you need to satisfy it. Is that what you’re saying?
“And let’s face it, love and lust is blurry line anyway.”
Maybe to you but sex is just sex, without love. Love AND sex is absolutely amazing..:) Go give it whirl when you have the chance at all.
And while i should be diplomatic in my comments as all are entitled to their opinion, BENMAAROFF, you came across as pretty shallow to me. Like shallow men do, they justify on the things they probably don’t even understand. Like. Love.
And i suppose being married with two kids and being “stuck” with one, same, woman for the rest of your lifetime gets distressing at times, eh? :D
Love becomes a blur when you have a wife and two kids, eh?
That’s a pretty sad and cynical life you’ve created for yourself..:(
Er..Jordan, you are now crowned hero of Malaysian Muslim females who find themselves against a brick wall whenever the subject of polygamy comes up. The response from Muslim men (okay, not all, but from most and esp from the ones purportedly religious) is that “Thou shalt not challenge the authority of men to take more than one wife, as is provideth in the Quran” quite forgetting the other bits about provsion and fairness and - good Gosh - the very basis of Islam in the first place: treating other people the way YOU want to be treated.
I did my bit as well and sent your article and your bloglink to girlfriends…;-)
Polygamy is legal in Islamic law so ladies please refrain from painting it to be an Islamic law that devalue women. It has valid reasons behind if applied and used correctly in society.
Islam is not only a religion but a way of life so take it all or none at all, this also goes a long way too for men considering additions to their family tree.
Please remind ourselves that all our amal is based on the niyah/intention. Cheating certainly is haram but polygamy is not so please make the distinction.
Yea we know it’s legal. Based on “niat” or not i still think it’s a rather disturbing law though ………
“Islam is not only a religion but a way of life so take it all or none at all, this also goes a long way too for men considering additions to their family tree.”
I somehow feel that this sentence is not quite right in the sense that it goes against my beliefs.
“Cheating certainly is haram but polygamy is not so please make the distinction.”
Cheating is haram but polygamy is not…..so, the difference in polygamy is, you marry your the person you fancy other than your wife, as in the person you want/would like to have an affair with? It’s just like legalizing “cheating”, i must say.
I am sorry, i really don’t want to offend but i just cannot grasp the logic of polygamy, especially in Islam when it’s only for men. I might be more accepting that it is a “way of life” as in it’s just the way the religion is, if muslim women are allowed to be polygamous too - although it doesn’t make it any less disturbing.
And one more thing, i always believe in questioning the authority, even if it means questioning Him/Her.
One thing I’ve noticed about the way some Muslim men talk about their rights and ‘priviledges’, is this notion of Islam not just being a religion, but a ‘way of life’. The inference here is that all the other worlds’ religions are ‘hobbies’ or merely passing interests. This shows a lack of knowledge of the other religions. They also are ways of life, and have laws and moral codes which dictate (or control) all aspects of daily life. Why do Muslims claim their religion is the only one? Either they don’t know anything about the other religions, or it is a convenient way of explaining behavior which wouldn’t pass the grade in the other ‘ways of life’, which is a direct translation of ‘religion’ anyway…
You are either part of the solution to a problem, or part of the problem itself - Benmaarof and naz have made their decisions clear, what about the others? The very obvious battle within Islam right now is not between ‘moderates’ and ‘extremists’, but between those who see a future in Islam and those who refuse to see the future…
Oh, some of these Muslim men talk about their ‘rights and privileges’ only when it comes to these things. Believe me, kalah the scholars when coming up with edicts and Quranic quotations. Ask them about other stuff, you’ll draw a blank. Speaks volumes really.
Ah well.
To believing and practising Muslims, Islam is a way of life. Yes, you take everything in it, and you leave out things that are outside the boundaries set by God.
That is fine, until we come to knowing what is in Islam and what is not. In this, sharia is the path to faithfulness. The path to faithfulness is to have knowledge, and to remain true to the Qur’an (the scriptures) and the Sunna (the Prophetic traditions). Anything that is contrary to the Qur’an and the Sunna, even if written in Arabic, or has the words “in the name of Islam” preceding it, or spoken by just about anybody, is not Islam. A Muslim is not betraying Islam, or is not cherry-picking Islam if he/she rejects anything that is not true to the Quran and the authentic Sunna.
Our problem is, we do not know our own knowledge, and in our ignorance, we lash out on others whom we see/perceive as having a different view/take from those of ours.
Our other problem is we love to quote verses from the Qur’an, but we live out the context.
Another problem is we love to label others with opinions we are disagreeable with. How else does some people justifies calling another Muslim, one who profess that there is only one God, Allah, and Muhammad is his Messenger, a kufr?
Another problem is we love to nip arguments or differing opinions with a terminal rebuttal. Example in the context of this article: Sometimes men cheat on their wives by engaging in full “marital relationships” with other women before taking them on as second, third or fouth wives. Not all, but some men do that. That was one of the content of Jordan’s article. These cheating men then say that they could practice polygamy as allowed in Islam.
One of the discourse route has turned into: “polygamy is allowed in Islam; ladies - don’t argue that Islamic law devalues women; Muslims - take everything in Islam, not pick and choose what you like.” In this article, and in most discourses, the truth of the matter is that nobody is claiming polygamy for men is not allowed in Islam; no believing and practising Muslim woman is arguing that Islamic law, correctly practised devalues women; no sincere practising Muslim is picking and choosing what they like about Islam and living out what they don’t like. That is the rot of our ignorance of our knowledge, and our lack of intellectual endeavours in terms of positive discourses / arguments / debates.
In Islamic ethos, we think well of all those who came up with terminal rebuttals. We think that they are sincere, and all these is due to lack of skills on how to engage in discourses positively. We do not think that their terminal rebuttals are anything but sincere.
Having said that, it is not that terminal rebuttals are always insincere. If the argument puts forth that to be modern, Muslims must rewrite the Qur’an and throw out certain so-perceived backward passages. Then, in a Muslim discourse, that is a stupid preposition, and the terminal argument is that Muslims have no problem with being modern, and a believing Muslim would rather die in faith than rewrite the Qur’an.
In this context, the Qur’an is very modern. In a time when society sells women as they would sell property, and when men took as many wives, limitless as they liked; limiting to four, and with the injuction that if they took more than one wife, all wives are to receive equal treatment is very modern. Muslims at that time, when the injuction first came about, was perceived as “too modern”!
I have written a bit about this in my article, To Be Muslim
Apologies for mistake.
This sentence:
“Our other problem is we love to quote verses from the Qur’an, but we live out the context.”
should read such:
“Our other problem is we love to quote verses from the Qur’an, but we leave out the context.”
Yasmin/Anisah,
I just read your article and I must say it’s very well written. I like how you explain Islam and point out the diversion many muslim ppl have put emphasis to instead of the true path of the religion.
But it still doesn’t answer my question. Why do Islam allow polygamy practices among its followers? I’d like to know what kind of positive things comes from it.
Maybe I can understand why in the past, this law will allow men to take care of women because they were in many ways perceived “lesser” than men. This is by putting women’s rights issues aside.
Can anybody answer my question of why polygamy is allowed in Islam? What good does it do Especially in this time and age?
Expedited Writer,
Thank you for your question. From your previous comments, I take it that you’re not a Muslim. My humblest apologies if I am wrong.
The verse that allows polygamy in Islam is in Chapter 4 of the Qur’an. The name of this chapter in Arabic is Al Nisa, which can be translated as The Women in English.
The specific verse is the third one in the chapter. Marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly, then only one, or that your right hand possess. That will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.
This chapter of 176 verses begins with an appeal to the solidarity of mankind, the rights of women and orphans, and the implications of family relationship including an equitable distribution of property after death (Abdullah Yusuf Ali).
In that third verse, God’s injuction is that “if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly, then only one,”
The condition of justice is always there, and if that condition cannot be fulfilled, then believers are taught that ONE is better. Faith must go with justice, sincerity and moderation in speech. In the same chapter, verse 135 is such, “O ye who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as withnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest ye swerve, and if we distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that ye do.
The Expedited Writer asked, as well as many non-Muslims, as well as people who have no faith have asked, “what good does polygamy do especially in this time and age?”
This is a very good questions. In inter-faith discussions, the objective is not to change or wipe out anothers’ faith. This has been explored in greater detail by Tariq Ramadan in Western Muslims and the Future of Islam. Of course we shall not delude ourselves to the inexistence of ill-intent in numerous so-called inter-faith discussions. Assuming that the question is asked in sincerity, and with the objective of understanding in order to respect someone else’s faith, then the discussion could continue.
My reply as a Muslim, is that Islam in the form as revealed in the Qur’an and as practised by Muhammad the Messenger of God is for humanity for all times. Therefore it is not unfair or backward to allow polygamy because the condition of justice is mentioned in the same verse. The Qur’an’s stress on justice in the same chapter and in other parts of the Qur’an speaks for itself.
My appeal to people who don’t see it as such as well as people of no faith, as to why this allowance for polygamy in this “modern times” is such: can we stop married men, or men committed to a partner, from having another relationship with another woman other than their respective wife / partner? No. If we cannot stop that practice, which still happens in ALL societies in both industrialised as well as non-industrialised countries, can we demand that these men treat each and every-one, mistresses, multiple-partners, concubines, call it whatever one likes, justice? No.
For Muslim men, if they were to marry more than one wife, every women married to him, is entitled to justice, which can be enforced by law. Jordan’s article found issue with men who cheat on their wives and justifying their action (which is deemed a sin in Islam) with the allowance for polygamy. The fact that in Muslim majority countries, one hears tearful stories of how wives are neglected by their polygamous husbands, and the difficulties for them to get the ear of the Islamic courts to right the wrongs, all these are examples of backward and wayward Muslims. The actions of Muslims are not reflective of Islam. In the same way as one says the action of a convicted murderer is not reflective of his countrymen and women.
Allah wa ahlam.
Hey people, I am not advocating Polgamy nor am I the least interested in practising it. However, I strongly believe that Allah made the ruling for a reason, as He knows best. There may be times where it can be applied is all I am saying.
As with the Adam story with the forbidden fruit, nothing wrong with the fruit, it is nice it is juicy but why did God forbid it? And we all know what happen after that..
Hence, I stress that persons that are considering it, polgamy, should and must not only cheery pick this rule to suit their needs. Who are we to quesiton Allah. Debate all you want but it take two to Tango. And it is not all MEN. To the ladies you may forget but we do have the Islamic way of courting without resorting to cheating.
The difference between Islam and other religion we submit to the will of God.
Yasmin/Anisah,
You’re right, i am a malaysian non muslim. I grew up with muslim friends and from what i understood from them, Islam as a very peaceful religion as oppose to what’s going on around the world right now. However, when i asked them about the polygamy thing, none of them have been able to give me a proper answer except that it is God’s will and that it should not be questioned. I refuse to accept it till today.
Thank you for answering my question though. It’s very insightful. However, it still doesn’t answer my question. Like what Jordan has said, even though the men are suppose to ask for permission from the 1st wife, how many do? And even if the first wife agrees, how many does it justly?
I think there’s a loophole here which allows men to take advantage of it.
And i totally agree with you, what muslims reflect is not neccessary Islam. Same goes for Christianity, what christians reflect is not necessary Christianity. Same goes for every other religion in the world.
The one thing, though, is that these other religions (main ones like Christianity, Buddhism, Hinduism, Catholics, Taoism) did not state polygamy as lawful in their religion which certainly closes one big loophole there.
MadDog why do get you knickers in a twist. We are talking about it in the context of the Muslim religion. Yes you are right I do not know enough about other religions so no point talking about it as it is not my place to do so on their behalf. Neither do I wanna start making comments based on assumptions of what I think the other religion point of view. It is also not about thinking that one religion is better than the other. And I do agree that all religion is a way of life so there you go. If anyone choose not to believe in anything, fine by me. To each his own.
Every religion should believe that his religion is the right one! If not, whats the point to be in that religion even if you yourself don’t believe in it to be the ultimate truth? This is normal. In the end we human we always try to find the true meaning of life(God) and the truth(religion).
The bigger problem in this world right now, is evil people are trying to make this world int a new religion.
A new One world religion! And no… it is not Islam or Christanity!
I wanna comment on pologymany….
damn, only if I was/am married in the firdt place!
*sigh
I’ve come across an explanation, but im not sure the validity of it.
I was told once, by an ustaz, that many didnt know why the law of polygamy was lay down in the first place.
It actually came during the emperor’s time when the maha raja was allowed to have 100s of concubines and wives…and also when one of the prophets was having a number of wives too.
That’s when the wahyu said to LIMIT only to 4, if u’re able to divide your time and wealth squarely.
So the law DOES NOT actually encourage you to have 4 wives, given the circumstances when it was being said and to whom it was applicable.
Interesting insight, would u say?
btw, great article, macvaysia.
may i know which one is your first article in rentakini?
Keep it up.
A few case scenarios;
What if polygamy is made illegal and infidelity(cheating on your spouse) legal?
-Men can and probably will cheat. The wife or the third person (mistress, one night stands etc.)will have no legal recourse to claim their rights (children, property etc.) If the 3rd person gets pregnant, the husband have no rights over the child.
What if polygamy is made illegal and infidelity illegal?
-The wife might get divorced because divorces are legal and the men does not want to go against the law.
What if polygamy is made legal and infidelity illegal?
-The wife and the 3rd (or more) person will have rights they can claim from their husbands in matters of reponsibility (children, property etc.).
*-When I say infidelity, I meant to the point of having sex outside of marriage.
Women cannot have more than one husband because the most obvious consequences of sex are children. The paternity of the children must be clear and unarguable. This is important in matters of responsibilities toward the children and the rights of the children.
Please don’t say paternity tests. Only a miniscule percentage of the human population does have access to high tech labs to do those tests. And it was only a recent invention.
Polygamy forces men to be responsible. Not the other way around.
The main issue pertaining the allowance of polygamy is not about LOVE but about RESPONSIBILITY.
Divorcing your wife to legally be with other women(Divorce is legal in probably all societies)is irresponsible to the wife and the children.
The title for my post above (no. 1945) should be..
“What if a married man wants another woman.”
Gee, I go away for a few days, and when I come back I see a big discussion. Great stuff! Thanks to all for the insightful comments.
Well, like I said in my article, I’m not really against polygamy. I think the first comment by Anonymous hit the nail on the kepala: one of the big problems is the courting stage. Sure, a Muslim man has a right—and I’ll never say it’s not a right—to marry more than one wife. But it has to be done properly. Otherwise, it’s just zina (the ‘raba-raba’ stuff, etc.), and it’s no better than any other form of cheating. And of course, there’s the injustice done to the first wife if she isn’t given her due respect in the first place.
I’m sure there is a right way to practise polygamy; I’m just not sure if there are many people actually doing it that way.
Passerby: My first article at Malaysiakini was this one. The title of my second article was supposed to be the same as the first, but Part 2.
Poligamy is indeed the most interesting topic in Malaysia… See how many comments!
Hafizi: Macam kenal jek! hehe
Poligamy is indeed the most interesting topic in Malaysia… See how many comments! Kalau sorang bini ada 30 pasang kasut, 4 bini kena belikan 30×4=400 pasang kasut… hmmm boleh bukak kedai kasut! Lesson: Don’t get married at all! haha
Hafizi: Macam kenal jek! hehe
Jordan you are right many simply know boleh kawin empat but never learnt he rest of the prosedure when they do have more than one wife. Thus, you article made me look into this book call ‘Reliance of the Traveller’ translated by Sheikh Nuh Ha Mim Keller. It was one of the most comprehensive books on Islamic law and it is in english & arabic. Guys who harbour such thoughts of poligamy read it then you will know what is the complete duties required of you and I am sure you will be put off by it. As one person rightly commented, The law allows four wives but the ‘Fitrah’ or encouraged practise is to stick to one.
Nizar: 30×4=400? Ni matematik apa? Haha!
yup! poligamy is a fun subject!
but on a more serious note from this mamat here!
http://www.counterpunch.com/Roberts07222006.html
and check out the rest of the artical.
don;t just read mainstream stuff!
Well, that formula applies for counting how many shoes a woman has :)
Thank God they are made with only two feet. Imagine if they were created like octopus!
So, kalau blom jadi jutawan macam Datuk K, jangan berangan nak kawin lebey2 :)
hey jordan,
i really liked your article. and… i realise i have been kinda unfair by automatically assuming all men are like ..well, like what you wrote.
i’ll try harder to think and be nicer. *smile* especially to my husband!
S.A. muslim men can cheat!!! now if done properly by religious law a second, third or fourth marrige is fine, but it must be know before hand of the present wife(s). if my husband is going to work and having lunchins with a fimale co-worker….thats not cheating?? in my books it is! i can understand if he becomes interested, but in islam you know when your interested, and then before a personal relation shio is formed, islamic proceedures and laws should be reviewed and fallowed, not only to please the wife(s) witch will be hurt, but to please Allah in islamic practises, love and care.
mallak-jayne@hotmail.com