If you drop by Rentakini, Malaysiakini’s lifestyle magazine, you’ll see that the latest article in Dina Zaman’s weekly column, I Am Muslim, was written by yours truly. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, I suggest you start reading Rentakini regularly, as there’s a wealth of insightful articles by Dina Zaman, Idlan Zakaria, and others. Now with a little taste of MACVAYSIA!
This is my first time writing an article for a site other than my own blog, and I must say it’ll take some getting used to the lack of control that goes along with submitting my work to an editor who isn’t me. My last name is spelled with a small v at the top of the column (oh how I’ve always hated that…it’s a big V, people!), and some of my formatting was changed. But other than that I’m happy with the article. In fact, working with an editor isn’t all bad. My article isn’t the one I originally wrote, because the first one I submitted was rushed and the writing wasn’t really tight. Dina told me as much, so I reworked it and sent a shiny new version, which is what you’ll see in Dina’s column. Good editors help good writers turn out better work, and good writers trust good editors.
One thing that won’t take any getting used to: getting paid to write! Alas, I won’t really get a chance to get used to that anyway, since I’m only contributing two articles (the second should appear sometime in June). Still, for now I am thoroughly enjoying even the thought of it. Paid to write. Imagine that! It’s not much, but it’s still pretty cool.
The current article is about something I’ve written about in my blog before: the dirty looks and nasty comments Leen and I (and many couples like us) get from some people in Malaysia. Whether you’ve already read my take on that issue or not, do take a look at my article and let me know what you think. Thanks! And thanks to Dina for providing me with an opportunity to contribute a guest article or two to her column!
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Disinhibition in adults using zoloft.
Relpax and zoloft warning. Zoloft.
17 Comments
all mix-married couples unite! just let me know when u plan to mass purchase the t-shirts with “we’re very MARRIED! F#@key Offey!” i’ll help u sell. in fact there’s a club we can establish since we know many friends of mixed marriages:-)
It was a very sweetly provocative article! Read provocative as in to provoke to think, not Agent Provocateur.
If and when I do get married in Malaysia, if the person solemnising the marriage contract, be it a kadi, an imam, or an official from the religious department, happens not to be able to speak English, could you give the marriage sermon please? English is my first language, half if not more of my friends witnessing the marriage ceremony would either be Muslims and non-Muslims who have English as their first language, why must they listen to a sermon, which very intention is to educate and to inform, be educated and informed in Malay, either because the kadi is not conversant in English, or viewed a language other than the compulsory Arabic and non-compulsory Malay as less Muslim in a marriage ceremony, or both?
Oh dear, see my bad habit of writing conversational English, i.e. one paragraph without a single full-stops?
If and when I do get married in Malaysia, would you do me that honour?
COngratulations on your nuptials and on the little McVay.
A Mat Salleh with a Malay lady in Malaysia - the stares. I know that very well. Thankfully, I am in the UK. So I must be the ‘mail-order’ bride - an unfair statement to those fair and petit and demure ladies.
If you were a spokesperson (hypothetically speaking) for all the Mat Sallehs who end up with Malaysian wives, please enlighten me. Is the houseproud, family-centered, organised Asian wife the stereotype for such a union? (And why does my dear husband complain that the kitchen is messy, that I work too hard and that usual question, “what’s for dinner?” )
For Ida,
I guess u haven’t met more of us, we have quite a large community here in malaysia; malay ladies married to french men, and we, the wives are the ones asking “what’s for dinner?”…maybe ur dear hubby shd watch more oprah shows:-)btw, if u’re in London do drop by rasa malaysia cafe, u can tell my auntie jeda u’re my friend, she offers discounted meals to my friends…
Salam Jordan,
Great article! As a Malaysian woman married to a latino revert (we live in Fresno, CA though) we haven’t experienced the stares that you guys must get. Then again, Pedro could probably pass for an arab! (it’s the Mexican thing)
I look forward to more of your articles - and congrats on the little Mcvay!
Ida,
You’re not alone!
Oi Ida! It’s your Mat Salleh hubby here, saya orang Inggeris etc. Do you remember where I left my wallet?
Interesting site.
Yours dying-of-hunger-as-spouse-is-off-somewhere-saying-she’s-on-a-course,
Nick
Jija: Yes, today Malaysia, tomorrow the world! Mwahahaha!!!
Anisah: No problem! Be careful what you wish for, though!
Ida: Hmmm…I’m not sure. The Malay-Mat Salleh couples I know come in many varieties!
Nori: Thanks! I once knew an Arab guy who was often mistaken for a Latino when he visited LA. Anyway, Leen and I didn’t get the stares in Canada either. Seems like a Malaysian thing.
Nick: I hope you find your wallet. And good luck with dinner!
Jordan: C’mon, surely there is that itsy bitsy Asian wife thing. Go on…
Jija: Glad to hear that your hubby cooks well. As they say, The French fret about the quality of the food on the table, the Germans fret about the quantity of the food on the table, the British fret about the manners at the table. Forget the food.
Azlin: Glad I am not alone.
Nori: My sister-in-law is going out with a Latino. People thought he was an Iraqi. Hmmm.
Nick: I don’t know where your wallet is. The beef from yesterday is in the fridge. There are enough tomatoes, lettuce and cucumber to rustle up a salad. Love you lots.
Ida: Still not sure. Maybe family-centered, yes. But other than that, I knew right from the start that Leen was going to be a career woman, and I also knew that she didn’t really like to cook or clean. So I certainly didn’t expect her to spend a lot of time in the kitchen or anything like that. It’s all good!
Nick: Bon appétit!
Get over it.
People stare at you because you look different.
It’s just human nature.
Thinking that other people have bad thoughts about you or your union is about the same as having bad thoughts about others.
Ben: Of course, in a way I do let it go. I mean, I certainly don’t lose sleep over it or let it ruin my day. But I still find it annoying. And I will complain about it. Yes, people can think what they want. But when people make comments I don’t agree with, I’ll say so. So no, in that sense I won’t let it go. Besides, if you can’t take your own advice, why should I?
To comment on ur article on Rentakini:
What I think when i see a Malay girl with a non-Malaysian guy holding hands in public?
I don’t care :)
Nizar: Yay!
… unless u do a french-kiss or canadian lip-lock… or any other form of mouth-kissing in public…
Nah, don’t worry…we keep it clean out in public. Haha..
I’m not worried… I won’t even ask u to stop if U do it… I’d approach u both and ask… “Boleh join tak?” ngeh ngeh…